Over the course of the past two weeks, I've discovered that I'm a very bad comforter. As in, bad at comforting others. Three friends broke down because of projects and/or personal probs, and I had no idea how to comfort them. Sad sia. Haha.

I think I'm a bit like a guy. I panic when I see ppl crying. I'll get all awkward and won't know what to say. Haha. Seriously! I really don't know how to say the right words, how to reassure them that everything will be alright and so on. I seriously suck at that. Hmm ..

I am very very very tired right now. Woke up at 5 this morn to print stuff for tourism project. Slept at 12 last night after staying till 10 in sch. I think that's the ultimate la. Have nv stayed so late in sch before, except for the FOC. But that was camp la, so not counted.

Anyway, have been rushing the two projects due today for the past week. One, for nonexistent reasons because I think we were asked to a lot more unnecessarily than we should have. And the second, because we kept putting it off.

Had a crazy day yday. The entire day was dedicated to projects. Haha. But we didn't concentrate on that all day la. Not so hardworking. Ate a lot of tidbits, sweets. Made a lot of jokes, and they were all insane ones. Hah. At 9.50, the central sys sent a msg to all coms saying that they are closing in 10mins. So we kiasu-ly saved all our work. Haha. Then we went for dinper (dinner + supper) at e kopitiam across the road. Came up with a new bad word. Haha. Super hilarious. And we decided to wear kookoo the next day. As in stuff that attracts attention.

As I said, woke up at 5. Reached sch at 8plus. Did project all the way till 2 when we were kicked out. heh. Went to e com lab where we finally finalised our tourism report, printed out everything and heaved a huge sigh of relief. Really thank God we didn't have to rush till the last min.

Rmb we had to wear kookoo? Krystle, Gwen and bryne brought super cheesy hats to sch, so we were like walking everywhere with them. And ppl do stare. Rude or what.

WEnt for a movie after that with corrin and calvin. Watched cheaper by the dozen 2, though we haven't caught the first one. Heh. Quite funny. and touching. But since we didn't watch the first one, we couldn't make comparisons. But looking back, the movie seems quite short.

Think Krystle and Gwen are still busy editing their grp's work for tourism. So, wish them all the best. Hope they won't be so stressed out.

I have a qns for my readers. Am I anti-joy? Krystle and the rest are all saying i'm anti-joy. Shld be cos i'm always making those caustic remarks. Haha. But seriously, am I? Pls post ur ans in my tagboard. Thanks! heh.

I planned to do this two weeks ago, but i kept putting it off cos of other stuff, and now here's my resolution and all those things I was supposed to write for the new year. Haha.

2005 passed very quickly for me, and according to several other people, it did for them too. Ginnette asked me if anything significant or big happened to me last yr, and frankly speaking, I cannot really think of any. Perhaps not nothing, cos I did get baptised after all. Haha. And that was really a blessing. But other than that.. maybe I do not count my blessings, that's all. Cos I'm sure I am blessed. But I learnt a lot last year.

I learnt that the people you think you know best are not as they seem. I learnt that I must start treating my friends better without expecting anything from them. Only that will make me happy.

And most importantly of all, I learnt that people always hide things from each other, consciously or unconsciously, deliberately or inadvertently, for whatever reasons, no matter your relationship. Why? Everybody has secrets, things you do not want to let others know, even your closest friend. But why is there a need for secrets? For self-preservation? Or is it something else? I don't deny that I do keep a lot of things from my friends and people around me. And I do wonder why. I guess, it's a matter of trust. I .. do not trust the people around me, so I guess I can't expect them to trust me too. Do unto others what you would have them do to you. Right? So I guess I deserve all that.

I'm still harping on that incident last mth, and I might never forget it. Not because I'm still feeling bitter, but because it was a lesson to me.

Okay, resolutions. I didn't make them in the past because I know I'll nv keep them, so what's the use? Haha. But for the sake of making resolutions, I shall make them.

First of all, is to stay strong in my faith.
Secondly, to grab opportunities when they arise.
Thirdly, to give without expecting.
Last of all, to learn to trust.

- I hope you read this -

My New Year's eve photos ...


At Marina Bay after the steamboat ..
In JiaLin's house ..

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

He lived all alone, in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.

I had come down the chimney with presents to give, and to see just who might in this home live.

I looked all about, such a strange sight did I see, no tinsel, no presents not even a tree.

No stocking by the mantle, just boots filled with sand, on the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds, a sober thought flew through my mind.

For this house was different, and so dark and dreary, I'd found the home of a soldier, that I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, all silent, alone, curled up on the floor of this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle, the room in disorder, not how I pictured a United States soldier.

Was this the hero of whom I'd just read? Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

I realised the families that I saw this night, owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

Soon around the world, the children would play, and grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.

They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year, because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone, on a cold Christmas eve in a land far away from home.

The very thought brought a tear to my eye, I dropped to my knees and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice, "Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice;

I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more, My life is my God, my country, my corps."

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep. I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours, so silent and still and we both shivered from the cold night's chill.

I didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night, this guardian of honour so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice so soft and pure, whispered, "Carry on, Santa, It's Christmas Day. All is secure."

One look at my watch, and I knew he was right. "Merry Christmas, my friend, and to all a good night."

- This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan - Origination Unknown -

I know the world didn't look upon kindly on the US soldiers ever since Bush decided to attack the Middle East. But just stop for a moment, and think of all the men and women who died out there for their country. Not only in this recent war. WWI, WWII, the Vietnam war, the Gulf war. Sometimes we only think about what we can see, and not what is happenning behind the scenes, where all the ugly things happen.

Had a super tiring day on Saturday. Haha. Went for practice at 10 in e morn. Then we went for lunch in Paya Lebar, waited super long for the rest to come, then it was off to Marina South. Actually intended to play frisbee at the open field, but the ground was muddy, and it rained after a while, so we went to play bowling instead. After bowling, we went to eat steamboat and then came the tiring part. Jialin had a good idea to walk to Suntec to find a cafe or sth to chill. And the thing is, she wasn't sure the way there. All she knew was there was a park with an underpass leading to the CBD area. But, after walking ard the entire park in an hr, we found out that the underpass was under renovation. So, we decided to walk back to marina bay mrt station to take a train to city hall. Stupid right. Haha. But there were a lot of laughs along the way la. So it was a very weird form of fellowship la.

Anyway, we couldn't find any place that was relatively empty enough for us to find a table for 9, so we could walk ard somemore. Finally, we settled on going to Jialin's apartment in Geylang. I have no idea y that didn't come up earlier. Haha. At jialin's hse, we played cards, watched tv, had a very not high count-down and krystal and i kept putting kevin down. Haha.

Went to my grandma's hse on Sun. Ate a lot again cos my aunt bought some stuff there, and my ahma made char hoon which is my fave, and kung ba bao. So.. ya. And we went to eat supper at abt 10. So I was eating almost throughout the day la.

Slacked Mon away at home. Not v sure what I did, only rmb preparing the pineapple tarts fillings in e evening. Haha. Spent the entire day in sch on Tues till 6 sth. Then i went home to carry on my task last evening. That's what happens when i ask my mother to make sth.

Went to meet Jane for lunch today cos i wanted to go collect my pay. Haha. Went to eat Subway in RC. Then Jane went back to work, and i went upstairs to coffee club. Then i waited while Joselin ate her lunch then i went home. Anyway, got scolded by joselin cos i haven't worked in a long time, abt 3 weeks, but i could still get pay. haha. Haven't seen her in mths and she scolds me the moment she sees me... Chey!

Grow Old With You - Adam Sandler

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you


I think this is the sweetest thing a guy can ever say to his girl, that he wants to grow old with her. A very simple phrase that says everything.